*Notice: I am not hating on people who ship Julian with Lena. I haven’t even read Pandemonium because Delirium gave me too many feels. This is just answering a question*
Answer: Because of first love.
Imagine never knowing what love was. Imagine living your entire life believing that love is a lie, a sin, and you should be condemned for even thinking that love could possibly make your life BETTER.
Imagine growing up, and turning eighteen, and meeting a boy for the very first time. He looks at you, and this feeling; this strange, tiny, brand new feeling sprouts inside you. A newborn light that awakens your soul and pulls you out from under the darkest parts of you. And you’re terrified out of your mind that if you get caught, they will take that light away forever.
He teaches you. He teaches you everything. How keeping a secret can save you. How kissing can make you feel more alive than breathing. How touching someone can be so much more than physical.
You learn from him. You trust him. You belong to him.
And he belongs to you. He’s your first love. Your everything.
He’d die for you.
And you, him.